My Husband And I Are Growing Apart: How To Pull Your Marriage Back Together
If you’ve found yourself thinking, “My husband and I are growing apart”, you’re probably very concerned that your marriage is in trouble. This isn’t necessarily true, but if you feel this way often or for too long, it could be a sign of trouble.
My name is Judith and I saved my marriage by taking action. Keep reading my post to learn more about how you can do the same for your relationship.
What Marriage Means
No marriage is a static, constant relationship; all marriages are constantly changing, growing and being redefined. At some points, romance and excitement are high and, at others, friendship and partnership are the predominant feelings. This is normal, healthy and to be expected. However, a feeling of closeness and unity should always be present, even when you and your spouse aren’t able to spend much time together or alone as a couple.
In our experience, when a woman says, “My husband and I are growing apart”, she could mean one of several things. Let’s take a look at what the two most common meanings are and what you can do about them if they fit your situation.
My Husband and I Are Growing Apart
Translation: We never seem to talk anymore.
When you and your husband first began your relationship, you probably talked a great deal. Most likely, you had no children and may have been young enough to have few responsibilities.
Also, you were just learning about each other, and had a great deal of interest in each other’s likes, dislikes, dreams and history.
Once that initial discovery period was past, you may have stopped trying to learn about each other. This, and the addition of children and demanding jobs, may have made your conversations more practical and utilitarian than personal and interesting. This is why some couples find themselves turning to friends and coworkers for interesting social interaction and conversation.
It’s important to realize that you’ve both changed and grown a great deal over the course of your marriage, even if you’ve only been married a few years. Taking the time to initiate conversation about your husband’s dreams, hopes, fears and even his daily life will not only help to spark that sense of discovery, it will meet your husband’s need to feel like he’s still interesting to you. More likely than not, he’ll soon be asking you the same questions and seeing you as someone who still has much about her to be discovered.
My Husband and I Are Growing Apart
Translation: We never spend time alone anymore.
Again, in the beginning of your relationship, you and your husband probably spent most of your free time together. However, now that you’re married, with family, work and financial responsibilities, you probably spend much less time alone as a couple. That’s to be expected, but making the time to be alone together is essential and making the most of that time is key.
Even if all you can manage is one date night a month, even for a quick latte, make a commitment to doing so. Stress to your husband that you’re actually still interested in him as a man, not just a husband, father or partner. Don’t make it a serious thing or suggest it as a way to “work on your marriage”, that won’t likely seem very appealing. Make it a matter of fun, interest and relaxation.
Look for small periods of time in each day that are currently being squandered. Give up one sitcom, half an hour of web surfing or one magazine a day to spend that time having a glass of wine on the porch, playing a game of cards or even sneaking a slow dance after the kids have gone to bed. We all think our schedules are full, but most of us are surprised at how much time we waste on things that aren’t very important. Our lives are made rich by small moments that mean a great deal; find ways to create them each day.
If you want to discover more about the secrets for revitalizing your marriage, then I urge you to try Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel. It’s free—all you have to do is fill out the form on the top of the page—and it’s truly effective.
It helped my marriage and I’m confident it can help you.
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